An Experiment:

I assumed all along that I would post pictures of my chest wrapped up after surgery, and topless pics after the bandages and binder comes off.  But recently I have been pondering doing some video as well (of me talking about the surgery) as a resource for others, but also as a chronicle for myself, of this process.  And so, in the event that I decide to post video, you will see my face and hear my voice.

You, dear readers, already “hear” my voice through my writing, and I wonder, what, if you put an audio tone to it, does my voice sound like to you?  What does it sound like in your head?  Does it sound like your own voice?  Does it have no sound?  If I asked you to guess, what would you say?

And my face, you have seen my chin in my suit photos, and my face is obscured in a few WordPress images of myself, and so I wonder, when you read me, what do I look like to you?

If you have not seen any of my pictures, take a minute now, don’t go look at them, and ask yourself, what does Eli look like?

I find it curious that there are those of you (Kira, for example, or Karen) that I have never seen, yet I have a blurry image of you in my head.  I imagine some of you have that same experience for some of the blogs writers you read.  Just as a matter of record, I was wondering, what do I look like to a stranger, if all that strangers knows of me is my written language and what I don’t want to look like (that is, conventionally female)?

Be nice,
Your Pal Eli

17 thoughts on “An Experiment:

      • Then I have a pretty good idea of what you look like in my head 😀
        Can I annoy you? I will anyway because of your post from yesterday or the day before about burying your chest. After surgery you will have an Eli chest, which is different, but a chest. A chest you should start working out a few months after surgery to get it into a great shape. Rowing or a rowing machine will give you good proportions.
        I’m saying this because I know a guy who had the same surgery you’re going to have and the post-op was fine, but it was the exercise that gave him the shape he wanted. Rowing can seriously widen your shoulders 😉

      • Sweet! Thanks for the advice, I love lifting weights at the gym, but it’s good to know this specific exercise will help me along. 😉

      • Shoulders make the man, in my opinion- and I’m a gay man, so I know 😀 If you like weights, that’s great. Bench-press the hell out of yourself, and don’t believe what they say about it not having to hurt, it has to hurt. You have to feel the burn.

      • Indeed, if gay men know anything, it’s how to make an appealing male form. I’m open to any and all fitness suggestions you have. 🙂

  1. In my head, you’re quite softly spoken and eloquent. You have a slim pale face with very well suited short hair and deep eyes. We shall see about all this though.

    • Oh Smash, my girl and I had a good chuckle about the “eloquent” bit. You are kind to me.

      In my head, you are quiet charming and cute with the ladies. 😉

      -Eli

  2. Well, since i always nose around before ever leaving my first comment or following a blog, i had already seen your picture, so i had an idea what you look like. I admit though that i did chuckle when you first posted the link to your suit at the store’s website, and i clicked it, and there was an image of a little boy. I did NOT picture you as short, for some reason. Looking forward to the videos!

  3. Excellent experiment. I’ve often wondered the same thing.

    a) You are taller than me. I always assume people are taller than me because, well, I’m hard to beat at that.
    b) You are older than me, but just as youthful, and younger in trans years, as we’ve talked about. I see that a lot in your writing.
    c) Gender-wise, definitely androgynous. For me there are trans/gq writers who come off as having a more feminine or masculine voice, and those that just are. You just are.
    d) I feel like you are reading a young but precocious child a bedtime story, or explaining the ways of the world. Y’know, keeping it real, but simple and fun and engaging.

    If you don’t mind, I am totally stealing this idea for my blog, as I’m now infinitely curious. Also, don’t do video (I hate doing video and I hate watching video)… unless you’re totally sure.

  4. Steal away–maybe leave a link to me in the post somewhere?

    And “c” is curious for me: funny how we can “read” gender in language beyond pronouns. And funny that that is how I read myself, as just something in the middle. Something trans, for me, something in between, maybe moving, maybe not.

    -E

  5. Pingback: The (Other) Experiment « Neutrois Nonsense

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